walk away

i've been trying to think of something to write, but there isn't anything. 

i'm tired of raining, but like the recent weather here, i can't seem to stop for very long.  the clouds part and the sun and blue shine through for a moment, but then the rumbles and lightning start again and the rain trickles down my cheeks mirroring the windowpane. 

will's there for a moment, then he's gone again.  he's pulling away and i'm doing what i always do.  i can't let go.  i'll fall apart completely without someone to hold on to.  but i'm tired of holding on to those who don't want me, don't need me.  he's the opposite, and yet, he's the same.  emotionally unavailable.  he's there enough to keep me hooked, but distant enough to cause anxiety and disappointment.  it's time to let go, walk away.  he doesn't need me, and at this point, he won't even notice i'm gone.  there's nothing keeping us together now.  our paths never cross by accident.  and they never cross out of his desire.  it's all me now.  and when it gets to that, it's past time to walk away.

i wanted him to be the one, the friend i've been searching for, and to a great extent he has been; but it's time i awaken from that dream.  that friend doesn't exist, not in his entirety. 

it's definitely time to walk away.